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Whoever decided that dogs are man’s best friend was not a runner. Just ask anyone who’s been running for a while if they have a dog story to tell and you’ll quickly learn why this is true.

These stories tend to take on one of several different recurring themes, such as:

• A dog snuck up and scared the living daylights out of me with its piercing bark.
• I was out on a county road and was chased by what looked like the Hound of the Baskervilles.
• A runaway dog either followed me all the way home or I had to run around helping the owner get it back inside.
• I was out for a trail run when I stepped in something. Do you know how many little grooves are on the bottom of running shoes?

And then there’s my story (not that I haven’t experienced all of the above as well mind you).

My wife and I decided to go out for an evening run together. I do need to point out that it was already dark by this time. That will be important to remember later on in this story and help me save a little face. Anyway, I’m a little more experienced (i.e. faster) than my wife, so I ran ahead a bit and then circled back to meet up with her. When I got back to where I thought she would be, she was nowhere to be found. I ran around a little looking for her, but to no avail, so, I decided to go ahead and complete another loop around our neighborhood, thinking she’d gone back the other way.

Just as I picked up speed, I saw a little blur out of the corner of my eye. With absolutely no time to react, a burly little pug ran directly in front of my feet (remember, it was dark) and I toppled over it head first. My face immediately became well acquainted with the asphalt, though my knees, elbows, and hands did try to cut in and introduce themselves as well. After lying in pain for a minute or two, I managed to get back on my feet just in time to see the perpetrator waddling away with his tail wagging.

Fortunately, my wife soon arrived at the scene of the accident. Apparently, she had noticed the dog earlier, known whose it was, and had unsuccessfully tried to get it back home, which explains why I couldn’t find her. She helped me back to our house but told me to stop when we arrived so that she could open the garage door and sneak me in so the kids would not have to see the carnage. That’s when I knew it was pretty bad. She cleaned me up and used nearly all the bandages in our first aid kit to cover my wounds until I could get to the doctor the next day.

The road rash did eventually heal but I was left with a nice blue scar across my forehead (the blue was apparently caused by the silver sulfadiazine cream I used). I have been told that the scar makes me look kind of tough, so some good did come from this after all. Not only that, but I now get to share my dog story any time someone asks how I got it—hey, they asked for it.

Now you know why I say that dogs are most certainly not a runner’s best friend.

So, what can you do to avoid aquiring dog stories of your own? I don’t think you can entirely escape them, but the best defense is probably just trying to be more aware of your surroundings. Your chance of actually being attacked is not all that high. Most dogs are just trying to intimidate you, and I must say they can do a mighty fine job of that. If the dog does become aggressive, here are some tips from wikiHow on handling that situation: 3 Ways to React if a Mean Dog Chases You. Unfortunately, the best thing you can do when you encounter a dog is avoid running, which is kind of why you are out there in the first place, so that kind of stinks.

Before I leave, I must confess that I am not a dog person. Strangely enough, however, I am a dog owner. I’ll leave the story about how I came to own a dog for another time. Let’s just say that I have a really cute and persistent daughter.

Be careful out there! And if you have a dog story you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.